Brandon Routh and his super dong


Although the movie didn’t do so hot, it seems that the man who played the titular character in Superman Man of Steel had quite a bit more to offer audiences than they got to see. It turns out that Brandon Routh had quite the large penis hiding beneath his blue and red spandex and studio execs were quick to cover it up with the help of digital manipulation.

When Superman comes to town, he’s doing more than fighting the bad guys: he’s giving the ladies a little eye candy beneath the Superman Spandex. In fact, when it came time for Routh to suit up, studio execs were a little concerned with Routh’s dick bulge. It seems that his package is so large they worried that displaying it on the big screen would frighten young viewers. Instead of digitally enhancing actors, as they usually do, the studio actually had to scale back Routh’s penis with digital effects.

A source close the movie said: “The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache because of the size of his bulge. They fear Brandon Routh’s profile in the superhero’s skintight costume could be distracting. Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover it up with digital effects.  It’s a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don’t want it up on the big screen. We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.”

Learn The Secret to a Big Dick

That’s right; the executives were so concerned with warping the minds of young movie goers that they turned to computers to reduce the size of Routh’s johnson. Unfortunately for them, then movie is now known for being a box office bomb and they may only have themselves to blame.

While they may have given the quick excuse of frightening young viewers, what it all most likely came down to was the executives’’ own insecurities. They simply could not handle the thought of an incredibly attractive and successful man also having the endowment of an endangered rhino. Their reaction was to digitally castrate him to save the purity of their wives’ thoughts when they found themselves alone at night with nothing but a glass of wine and a fresh cucumber to pass the time.

Can you imagine the impact that a superman with a huge, natural cock would have had on the film’s success? Mothers from all walks of life would have dragged their children to the movie two or three times a week just so they could bask in the glory of the super hog while their kids marveled at his speed and strength. After each showing, the young ones would run to their rooms and wrap towels around their shoulders to imagine the power of flight while their blushed and sweaty mothers would run to their own rooms to lay towels on their beds to imagine the power of fuck after setting their vibrators on super speed! What a world!